Thursday, 17 October 2013

Fresh Starts And New Beginnings

Hi, Im Vicky a 27 year old Fashion design graduate from, actually I'm not sure where I'm from lets just say I'm hanging about at My Mum's in Devon for the time being after living in Manchester for the last 5 years.

This is my second blog but I chose to delete the old one as it had alot of old memories which I no longer deem relevant to my life now.

Recently the life I had known for the last 5 years came to an end, two major parts of my life just gone like that. One of them was a relationship which had consumed me for so long, and I didn't realise until I finally ended it that actually it was all very controlling, and I spent alot of that time blaming myself for things that actually were never my fault. Since then I have grown so much, I got back to being the old me with a  little bit of shiny newness - and honestly despite the fact that I have no idea where I am going with my life or what I'm doing I have never been happier.

The other major part of my life that ended was my Fashion design degree which took me 5 years to get through (including a year out). "Get through" I sound like I hated it, well I kinda did, more of a love hate thing, it wasn't so much the course it was me, I just could never put my all into it due to the fact that I got very poorly for the first 3 years of my degree, mainly due to the stress from the course so I guess it was partly the course! (Whoever says Fashion is an easy subject does NOT know what their talking about).

I never actually thought I would see Graduation day, it kind of felt like it was so far away, but boy did it come around and hit me in the face quick. It was the proudest day of my life, and I had to stop myself from crying a few times. Mainly because my relationship ended when we were set our FMP, and I nearly fucked it all up, but somehow I managed to carry on with the help of some amazing friends and a little bit of willpower.
The funny thing about it all was that my collection actually nearly got into LFW,  and it was then that I stopped and realised you know what I want this, I really want this. Over the years of the course my passion slowly dwindled but after I had proved to myself that I was independent again and I never needed the previously mentioned relationship I got my drive back, I felt alive again, something inside me told me to dream bigger, and that all those times I felt I couldn't do something I was very wrong.

I guess you could say I came out of 2 5 year relationships, a very liberating feeling, in all honesty it felt like a prison sentence, but now that I am out of "jail" for a crime I did not commit I am so ready for whatever the future holds for me, whatever that maybe.

I realise this is a bit of a heavy introduction, but for me this is all very relevant as this blog will be about my transition from my old life to the new, I want to document my progression, the journey into the unknown.
I want to feel like I have somewhere to go when I'm feeling uninspired so this will be my creative outlet - my little bit of escapism from the real world.

I hope you will enjoy reading this blog as much as I will creating it :)